Bringing it Back

So I know we’ve almost completely abandoned the blog within months of starting it but I’m determined to bring it back. As Sal mentioned I am a student and unfortunately I work two jobs as well. One of the jobs I work is an internship at a small securities trading firm, which I have only recently started. During the opening and the close it is extremely busy around here, but in the middle of the day it gets a little slow, so expect much more blogging out of me cuz I’m bored as shit.

What I wanna discuss now is this oil spill problem. I mean its fucking terrible and all but like could the solutions to this shit be any more retarded. Like granted it was an accident and all but this isn’t like driving your car through a store window because youre getting a hummer in the front seat, this is like a major issue, it would be like driving your car through the front window of a nuclear powerplant and accidentally setting off the reactor. And then to solve all the radiation problems that it caused we just made people wear an extra sweater when they go out. Like clearly sending mud down to clog up the hole is retarded. Like I’m no genius and I don’t do science but like a giant deep sea underwater pipe isn’t gonna be clogged up by some mud unless its like fucking jesus mud. Like it must be super mud to fix a giant mistake like that. Then I heard about another solution, let’s affix a giant cork to a giant gun of sorts and fire it down at the hole. Whoever thought of that should be fucking shot, like take them outside line them up and shoot them, twice, to make sure it worked. Then the entire family should be rounded up and shot as well so as not to perpetuate any more stupid fucking ideas.

MADNESS??? THIS IS BANANA CRAZIE

Another podcast has been recorded which includes some stupid news, gay skittles, and my pick for movie of the week.

And by popular demand (actually by no one in particular) our podcast is on iTunes. Banana Crazie can now be listened wherever you want. Listen to us on the train, in the car, on the shitter....or where ever your fucking heart desires. Download to iTunes HERE

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More to come soon

Yours Truly

Sal

It's Not a Hard Game

So, I only have two things I wanted to talk about;

First of all the mets, the fucking mets. Now I am definitely not a mets fan, being a baseball fan, I am incapable of ever being a fan of the mets. Now everyone knows you can have a team that you follow and you are a “fan” of but you can also be a fan of a team that plays good ball. But, no not the mets, they are terrible, and probably the single most uninteresting team to watch. I would rather watch nascar, than the mets, and that’s just a bunch of hicks drunk driving in a circle, exciting. Now, they have the potential to have a mediocre season and david wright is awesome, but they are the most uninteresting least exciting team in major league baseball and probably all of sports. There I fucking said it. They have a game that goes to 20 innings the other night and no one scores until the 19^th, that’s how abysmal the mets are. I don’t care if any of you are mets fan, they are garbage, fact. Also, I am so confident that the mets are garbage that if they manage to even make it near the world series I will fight a live bear.

Second of all, I like to watch movies, not really a big television guy. I watch a lot of war movies and action movies and I’m kind of confused why in every movie where the characters would realistically speak another language, the film has actors who speak with a british accent. I am confident at this point that actors from any other country who have accents are that good that they can conceal them while playing a character. Like that’s their fucking job, that’s all they have to do all day is practice saying shit over and over again. Still, there are so many movies where they have british accents for no other reason than England is filled with a bunch of self-righteous assholes. Examples; Enemy at the gates, they are supposed to be Russian, britsh accents. 300, he has a thick Scottish brogue, they are supposed to be greek. The new show Spartacus (awesome fucking show), british accents all of them and they are romans, and gladiator is guilty of the same. The list goes on and on. Granted I don’t expect the actors to learn Russian or ancient greek, concealing your accent is all I ask. Like honestly England and your garbage actors, fuck off, you’ve been bitter since the fucking tea party, grow up, move on it was over two hundred years ago. Stop trying to put yourself and your goofy fucking accent at the forefront of the media, we are America we run shit that's how it works. You may have invented the English language but we’ve made it our own and made it sound a lot less gay. America = winning. Britain = gay-version of America. It’s not a hard game.

-Luke

"Y'know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but he's rocking the shit in this one! "

JUPITERS COCK!!! WE HAVE A PODCAST

So the first Banana Crazie podcast was recorded yesterday. And as you might expect it was a little unorganized like most things we do but thats just how we roll. I suggest you listen to it, it's only 30 min. so you have no excuse not to listen. What else better do you have to do? I am also working on getting this shit on ITUNES. I know try to contain your boners. Well I'm gonna keep this short and sweet cause I gotta get back to the most exciting show on TV, SPARTACUS. Any show that combines the words Jupiter and Cock and says it on a regular basis is OK in my book.

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Yours Truly

Sal "Serenity Now" Accardi

Umm What?

Alright adam I didn't want to have to do this but, I'm revoking your blogging privileges for ten days. Like are you freaking serious blogging about wrestling? Blogging is gay enough without you coming on here and talking about fans of the second most retarded sporting event in the world. (the first being nascar, I mean c'mon they are driving a car oooh aaah bfd) It is a sport consisting of dudes faking scissoring in spandex. Like really? The fact that you even felt that wrestling fans warranted a blog post is not only concerning its downright deranged. You started off good making me laugh about how you couldn't get into a hooters cuz that's hilarious, but then you went off on for like 3 paragraphs and by the time I was done it was like getting a bj and not having her swallow, ultimately unsatisfaying and left me with some mild regret at having suffered through it. So if I see you on this blog in the next ten days I will fucking mail you anthrax, and then take your sister out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again. And I don't know where I'm gonna get the anthrax but whatever it'll happen. This is too long already so I'm gonna sign off, but I'll post soon.

-Luke

The Best Fans or the Worst Fans?

Alright, so I just got back from not being able to get into a Hooters restaurant. And why couldn't I get in, you might ask? Because it was full of freak show wrestling fans that were there 3 hours early so they would have somewhere to sit and eat. Now yes, I will admit that the main reason I went was so that I could watch Wrestlemania without having to spend $60 to watch it on pay-per-view (although I can think of a couple more reasons), but I only got there 30 minutes before it started and was not wearing a single wrestling rated article of clothing. I know that I'm not the most normal guy in the world but when it comes to something like professional wrestling I think I'm about as normal as it gets. The people I saw at Hooters were what people would call fanatics. And they may think of themselves as the best fans, but I think of them as the worst. Why? Because they make the rest of us normal fans look bad. They make anyone who has even the most remote interest in wrestling look like a weirdo or a freakshow. There were people I saw there tonight that had on t-shirts supporting their favorite wrestlers, and that's ok but then there are other people like a guy I saw that had his face painted white and had GO 'TAKER written in black. There were guys walking around with fake championship belts and people even cheering on the commercials advertising the upcoming matches.
I've been to Hooters about 5 times over the last few years to watch some of the wrestling pay-per-views and I've seen some interesting characters. There is one guy (although at first I was quite sure it was a girl) that I've seen there everytime without fail who is always dressed in pajamas and a bowl hat. This guy would jump up and down everytime something he liked happened.
There were so many people sitting down already and waiting for tables that I just said fuck it let's go somewhere else to eat and that in and of itself tells me that it was no big deal for me but it's clear that there were people there who definitely would not have left even if the girls with the huge knockers were telling them they had to.
I call these fans the worst fans because they don't know how to keep a cool head a just appreciate what they're watching. I'm pretty sure that these are the fans that are in denial about wrestling being staged. They've also probably never gotten laid and if they keep their antics up they never will. I mean seriously, stay home and jerk off to the wrestlers by yourself, don't go out and public and show your boner to the world and make the rest of the normal fans look like fanatics too.

-Adam

Who Started The FIRE

Adams youtube post got me thinking. Andy Samberg and his Lonely Island crew have really popularized this whole funny music video genre. Poking fun at how music nowadays is just an ejaculation of fast beats, ridiculous lyrics, and bright colors. Why can't kids be more like this little girl.

I would actually turn on MTV and watch an hour of music videos that actually entertain me, than watch another marathon of this. Hell if Tom Green can dominate TRL for a month, why can't someone who is an actual comedian instead of an attention whore.

But since the Lonely Island started doing all these original and hysterical music videos I have yet to see anything up to par. I'm waiting for something to challenge the likes of Andy Samberg and his digital short army. Well folks, wait no longer.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO TUDO. THE BEST THING TO COME OUT OF TURKEY SINCE....WELL EVER!!!!!

Yours Truly

Sal "I can't stop grinding my teeth" Accardi